It was bound to happen. The result of anger and an undisciplined reaction to being disciplined in a sports event resulted in the loss of life.
It happened in a soccer game. It should have happened in any number of different athletic events.
A teenage soccer player, reported to have been playing for the first time for a team in an unregistered recreation soccer league on a Wednesday evening in Utah punched a middle age referee in the head after the ref had warned the player for dangerous play with a yellow card.
The referee fell to the ground holding his jaw. Observers did not think the injury was serious, until they saw blood coming from his mouth.
He was taken to a hospital where he fell into a coma. Three days later, Ricardo Portillo, the father of three daughters, died, never regaining consciousness.
A random act of violence. Yes…..and no. A symptom that sportsmanship and the willingness to accept the responsibility for one’s actions have fallen behind accountability…..definately yes.
Similar incidents have happened on the football and baseball fields, on basketball courts and in the hockey rinks. They have often been ugly scenes, but without ending in the death of a player or game official.
Fans have gotten out of control, and parents at youth games have assaulted officials, both verbally to the point of expulsion from the game, and also physically.
Yes, the games are important, as are the results, but are they that important? I don’t think so.
In recent years there has been some administrative movement in sports and leagues to eliminate the team handshakes at the end of the game. It has happened in girls youth soccer.
It is difficult at a time of disappointment to walk a line and congratulate an opponent who has just defeated you. But it is also a learning opportunity…..and a teaching moment for coaches.
Being gracious in victory and in defeat is often overlooked. That’s too bad.
Referees and umpires are all too often the point of harassment. Young referees, sometimes only a few years older than the teams they officiate, are screamed at from the sidelines. Still in the early stages of learning to be a referee, they often decide the verbal abuse and threats are not worth it…..and they quit.
Everyone needs to realize that without referees and umpires, the games can not be played. Players and coaches will make mistakes and commit errors. So will the game officials. If you can’t accept that, then you probably shouldn’t play.
Player-to-player reaction often occurs as contact and the emotional level of competition escalates. Opponents sometimes become rivals. Thus, you only need the “match” to light the fire that bursts into an ugly situation.
Fighting is part of the game in hockey. Players drop their gloves and go at it as officials stand aside as the action slows down before getting between the opposing players. Batters hit by a pitch often “charge the mound” and bring teammates out from the dugout and outfield bullpen for a free-for-all.
A big part of the problem lies in the individual inability to accept responsibility and not seek a scapegoat for something bad that happened to you, often by one’s own making.
In addition to coaching soccer at the collegiate level, I coached men’s tennis at that level for over 20 years. I often asked players to tell me “why did you lose” and often heard any number of excuses.
It might have been the wind, the opponent was “lucky” and was having a career match, bad calls, the court was no good, the sun was in the player’s eyes, etc. Seldom did they say, “he played better than I did.”
No one says you have to like your opponent. After all, you probably don’t know anything about him or her. Nor does anyone say that you have to be less competitive.
If good sportsmanship is lacking, so is respect. Respect for your opponents, for they have the same motivation that you do, and strong opposition makes you better.
Respect for the officials, for without them, you could not play. Yes, most are paid something for their work, but few do it just for the money.
The referee who died in Utah was working the game because it was something he loved to do.
And have respect for yourself, and for how you react to a difficult situations. It says a lot about you.
Coaches work hard to establish a high standard of play for their teams, but must also establish the standard of conduct of their players, and for themselves.
That means you talk about it, and prepare for the difficult moments when emotion reaches the tipping point.
Sometimes it may be difficult to be a good sport, but it costs you nothing. It does not diminish you in any way. In fact, it does the very opposite.
And it takes only a decision to show respect. It doesn’t take a conversation. It can be expressed with just two words.
“Thank You.”